The boy I’ve been seeing for the last few weeks broke up with me.
But don’t start to feel sorry for me just yet. This isn’t his fault.
You see, I met Ryan on a dating app at the end of May. He was cute and charming and complimented me a lot. A triple threat.
So, we agreed to meet up.
Except… things got off on the wrong foot.
On my way into Houston to meet up with Ryan, it started pouring rain. I’ve heard that rain on your wedding day is good news, but maybe rain on your first date is a bad omen… at least it was with this guy.
Because he lives in Houston and I was already driving, I offered to pick him up on our way to the bar. Easy peasy.
The only problem was, the bar Ryan picked was closed. And so was the second and third bar we tried to go to.
So far so awkward.
When Ryan insisted on a literal rain check, I dropped him back off at his apartment. Before he got out of my car, he asked to see me again.
OK, I responded. I’ll try anything twice.
We met again the following week for drinks. He asked if I could pick him up for first date round two.
Felt like a good deal to me. I chauffeur, he pays.
Date take two was… OK. And that’s putting it nicely.
The spark? You know, the thing that ignites a relationship? Yeah, that thing. It wasn’t there.
I’m easy enough to get along with, and luckily my background in journalism and my nosey disposition allowed for the conversation to flow well into the night.
But. Something was off. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
When the night came to an end, he asked me out again. This time, he’d make me dinner. Eggplant parmesan. My favorite.
I agreed. And I don’t really know why I did.
I knew I didn’t see a future with this guy. But, what have I got to lose?
In between dates, Ryan told me how much he liked me. And that he wasn’t seeing anyone else.And he didn’t want me to see anyone else. And that he could see a future with me.
Usually I’m the crazy one projecting my fantasies onto the other person. But hearing it from this point of view really just freaked me out.
I tweeted to my followers on Twitter that the new guy I was seeing was borderline obsessed with me.
Which was where I went very, very wrong.
A few days later, I got a text from Ryan.
He had Googled my name and found my tweets about him.
And he was not happy. He said I was mean and insensitive and that he’d rather never speak to me again.
And I get it. I’ve been in his position. I’ve been the crazy dater who would do anything just for a boyfriend.
Maybe I was meant to meet Ryan. Just as a sign to remind me to chill.
Boys come and go. But maybe instead of focusing on creating a relationship out of thin air, I should work on what I have in front of me.
So, I think I’ll take another break from dating. At least until I get my priorities straight.
I don’t know what I want or what I’m looking for. And it’s not fair to hurt others in the process of finding myself.